what could have been and what was
by willlarnett
Summary: William Murdoch takes a night walk, when he sees someone familiar. What could happen? aka a pre-season 5 spinoff of William and Julia's relationship.


William sat in his boarding house, feeling a sense of loss- a common feeling since his return from Buffalo. He was thinking of her, as always. She was due to be married soon, any other man would have considered taking a drink. Sometimes he even considered it himself. Thoughts like those were often in his mind as of late. He never did drink though, he still needed his mind to be sharp, his job more important than ever, now that he needed a distraction.

He tried to think of his most recent case- a man shooting people with no appearance of a pattern. It had been troubling him a lot these past weeks, along with thoughts of Julia. How he missed their interactions, their easy banter, her presence, her smile. What a fool he was to take her for granted, to not speak his mind when it was most crucial. At times he blamed her, for not giving him a bit of time to think before she left, but at the end of the day he couldn't help but think it was his fault.

He got up and started pacing, his thoughts were in disarray. It wasn't _too_ late for a walk, he decided with a look at his pocket watch. He put on his jacket and his hat and set out to walk by the lake. It was a nice night out, not too cold but not too warm. He let his mind shut down briefly, he didn't want to think of anything at that moment. It was as he was walking on the shoreline, that he saw a familiar figure, the object of his woes. William briefly considered turning around so that he wouldn't have to talk to her, but in the end his manners and his need to see her, even for a bit, won over.

He walked towards the bench she was sat at, took of his hat and cleared his throat. "William! What a surprise to see you here!" Julia spoke with a smile. "Sit with me", she stated. "Julia, it's nice to see you. May I ask what brings you here at this hour?", he asked taking a sit next to her. "I couldn't get myself to relax, or fall asleep, I thought a walk might help me clear my mind. But I could ask you the same question, William."

"About the same," he answered with a similar sentiment. "Would you like to hear about our latest case?" he inquired. Julia smiled and nodded excitedly. He couldn't have known this but she truly missed them working together on a case.

They easily fell into their usual banter. He told her all about this new "sequential killer", the new psychiatric term for murderers with multiple, unrelated victims. He told her about how the man had been killing with no pattern for the past couple of weeks and they don't seem to be getting any closer to catching him, much to William's dismay. She offered some insights that she had learned of about sequential killers in a book. "You'll catch him, William, you always do," Julia told him with a smile. "Thank you, Julia, I'm sure we will, I just want to catch him before he kills again…" he trailed off woefully. "William…" she said and placed her hand over his. Their eyes met, and he stared into her blue eyes. "You are a good man and you care so much about people, and I've always admired that so much about you. You will catch this man, and he will be punished, but you must focus," she said softly.

"How can I focus Julia? How can I focus when all I can think of is you in the arms of another?" he said with uncharacteristic candor. "How can I when you're so close to being married and all I want is to be with you?" He looked away then, embarrassed by his outburst. By God, he wanted her. He realized her grip on his hand tightened. Her other hand went to his cheek, gently caressing, and turning his face to hers. "Julia?", he enquired. Without realizing it, they had moved ever so closer to one another. William's gaze shifted from her eyes to her lips- he so wanted to kiss her. He realized she was also inching closer to him, their lips so close to touching.

As he realized what he was doing, he slightly pulled away. He was about to kiss an engaged woman! Julia, however, seemed to have other plans, as she brought her lips to his, ever so softly. Her kiss spread like fire through his veins, he could no longer think about the fact that she was engaged. He returned the kiss with fervor, tangling one of his hands in her hair, while he used both of hers to grab onto his lapels. Drunk on her kisses, he moved his mouth southwards, kissing, nipping at her jaw, while she threw her head back exposing her neck. Taking that opportunity, he latched onto her neck. She moaned his name, which spurred him on to running his hands down her back, her stomach, everywhere he could touch.

Suddenly, Julia brought William's head back in front of hers and gave him a soft kiss, then got up, bringing him with her. "William, I… I must think on this." Before he had a chance to react, she had started walking away. What had he done?


End file.
